Sunday, September 12, 2010

30 Days of Me: Day 4

Day 4 is about a habit I wish I didn't have.  I'm actually finding this quite hard to pin down.  When I was a kid, I bit my nails and chewed my hair, but I've managed to kick both those habits.  My husband suggested "not making enough cups of tea", but that's a habit *he* wants me to kick - I'm quite happy with him making all the tea!  I considered "procrastination", but it seems half of the people participating in this challenge have that problem, and let's be honest: procrastination has served me well for 30 years so I see no reason to change.  I thought I could mention being a spelling/grammar Nazi, but that guarantees I'll have an ironic spelling/grammar error in here somewhere.  Then I thought about "daydreaming"...But that's not a habit I wish I didn't have, because I think having a vivid imagination is an asset, and daydreaming is healthy.  People should do it more often.

So...My habit I wish I didn't have was over-analysing/being too hard on myself.  This a typical scenario for me preparing for a night out with friends:

What am I going to wear...What if I'm overdressed...What if I say something stupid...So-and-so made that comment today that I think means she doesn't want me to come...Is that what she meant? Maybe they're all thinking that.  Maybe they're just nice to my face but secretly bitch about me behind my back.  I don't fit in.  I'll make an arse of myself.  Maybe I should just not go.

This little inner monologue goes through my head every time.  I've actually mentioned it here before.  So there we go.

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